People Watching & Airline Flights

So for the four or five people who are going to read this I won’t apologize for any foul language; however, for anyone that stumbles upon this blog...feel free to leave me a hate comment, but most likely I’ll just ignore that like I ignore most of the idiots I come across in airports. That’s right, this blog aims to address all the random, weird, and just plane obnoxious people you encounter while traveling. I don’t have the space to write about the people I see in airports in Asia, mainly because that would make a book of its own; therefore, I’m going to talk a little about people watching during the past busy month of our travels. In one month we flew from Chicago to San Jose, Costa Rica, San Jose to Tamarindo, Tamrindo to San Jose, San Jose to Houston, Houston to Chicago, Chicago to Dallas, Dallas to Charlotte, Raleigh to Washington D.C., D.C., to Punta Cana, Dominican Rep., Punta Cana to Chicago. BAM....now that’s a ton of people to watch.

See, when we travel, which we do a lot, I enjoy sitting in the airports just watching people and watching their actions both in the airport and during the flight itself. Some are funny, some are just downright appalling, but they all have one thing in common...they unknowingly entertain me so that my head won’t explode from having deal with the crowds, lines, and ever more uncomfortable flights.

My first and foremost observation: People are becoming more and more disconnected with society. Why do I say this? Next time you’re traveling, or even the next time you’re in a crowded public place, look around and notice how many people have their face buried in some sort of electronic device, mainly smart phones. See, people are loosing any sense of how to interact casually, yet constantly fiddle with their damn iPhones. This disconnect from society, I argue, is yet another reason why people are becoming dumber and more angry. But, perhaps, airing another season of Jersey Shore and new songs by Lady Ga Ga isn’t helping either. The other funny thing is that these smart phones have the ability to take pictures, video, hold thousands of songs, play games, give driving directions, and provide internet and e-mail service, YET somehow they can barely make a fucking phone call.

Next: The Arguer. These are the people that argue about anything to either try to get something for free or just to be a complete asshole. For example, on our early morning flight to Dallas Texas my wife and I went through security which includes the normal anal probe and DNA sample. We went through and as I was getting dressed, you’d think the TSA agent would have at least offered to buy me dinner before I took off my clothes, we heard this lady causing a scene. The reason you ask? She said...and I quote, “Where’s your supervisor, this is sexism, why do I have to take off my scarf and men don’t have to take off their ties?” I’m not shitting you, she was actually complaining about this at 6am...not like she had a long stressful day at work, nope, she woke up, came to the airport and then just decided to be a complete bitch. Kudos ma’am, you succeeded with flying colors.

OK...onto the idiots. 1) The people who can’t figure out how to fill out the immigrations form. Flying into and out of Costa Rica and the Dominican Republic we watched countless people asking the same stupid ass questions. First question: “What’s my surname?” (I now facepalm myself) Second question: “What’s my travelers document?” Now, this might be a valid question IF Passport/ID wasn’t written directly beneath it. 2) The people who play ignorant about policies in hopes of getting by with something. First complaint: I didn’t know I had to fill out that form, when in reality they just forgot. (As they get to the immigrations officer) then they whine and cry to the officer to let them fill out the form right there. Fortunately they never do and send them to the back of the line. Second complaint: I didn’t know that you had a bag weight policy...then it turns to..I didn’t know it was 50lbs, I thought it was 70lbs. Then, they get pissed when they have to pay and cause a scene. This policy has been in place for all airlines for two years..come on man. Finally, the people who take a carry on bag that is an actual suitcase yet seem dumbfounded when they can’t get it into the overhead bin. This is my favorite part about flying...watching people try to flip bags around, wedge in their oversized bag, and close the latch. They fool around with it in a frantic pace, so the flight attendant won’t make them check it. The whole process looks like a monkey trying to wedge a rubik’s cube up its ass hoping that it’ll come out with the colors arranged. Pure entertainment my friends....

Airplane bathrooms: For some reason, and not all surprising, airline food can, and will, make a lot of people violently shit themselves immediately after they eat it. Maybe that’s why there are so many angry people in airports. So for some serious advice...If they serve food on your flight, make sure you use the bathroom before they do so, because for the next hour after people eat there will such a constant gathering of people making their way back to the lavatory that it looks like a herd of zebra crossing the Serengeti. AND, if you have to make the trip back, just be prepared for the foul stench that will make your airplane food come up due north.

AND...Drumroll...my number one observation...FACEBOOK. For God’s sake why do people have to rush to a restaurant, or any other place, to sit down and immediately update their facebook status or to check out what their fake friends had for dinner last night?. Just consider this, perhaps, and just perhaps, people should concentrate on their screaming children or their shitty attitude towards everyone else. I can’t tell you how many people my wife and I have spotted in airports that sit down and open up their facebook page just to tell them what...I don’t know, maybe that they’re now waiting on their connection or that Topeka, Kansas was awesome. I don’t know, I’m just saying that if they’re your real friends then you can send them an e-mail or actually call them...if your iPhone will let you.